want.

i hate being the kind of person who never knows.
the kind of person whos decisions are always uncertian.
for instance, i always want what i cant have.
always.
it kinda sucks.
because i know, i cant have something, but i try anyways.
sometimes *cough*usually*cough*, i get it.
when i get it though, i dont want it anymore.
i know logically, i either want, or dont want it.
but my stupid personality wont let me let things go.
i hold onto things until they slip away.
or rather, i push things away from me until theyre gone.
then, the challange is getting them back.
i supose its a game to me.
skill and technique are used to win.
the question is: tell me, is winning worth it?
no matter what position in what relationship im in,
i always manage to fuck it up in some way
because i want things to be better.
sometimes, 'better' involves moving on.
sometimes it involves leaving the situation.
but usually, it involves leaving things the way they are.
things can stay the way they are forever.
thats something you need to realize.
in some situations, moving forward dsnt need to be an option.
i push away those i care about.
the people i dont really need, they stay put.
if anything, shouldnt it be the other way around?