stabbed.

i keep hangnig onto hope.
and each time i clamber for it, i get stabbed in the heart.
over. and over. and over again.
i cant take much more of this.
i sware, im trying to let go of you.
i really dont want to.
but i have to,
since youre convinced its best.
this wont happen anytime soon.
but, if you dont make your move soon, ill be gone.
ptff. there i go again.
hanging onto a shred of hope.
why cant i just drop it?
you dont want me. youre never coming bac.
i guess im one of those people who need to hear it from you.
i dont regret not talking to you today.
its too soon.
maybe.. with time, we'll both cool down.
but i doubt it.
and it rips me. shreds me into a thousand pieces.
that are then scattered in the wind by you, for me to collect.
havnt i gone through enough pain?
youll say, its all my fault in the first place.
well, yeah. it really is. theres nobody to blame but myself.
i hate myself.
id kill myself, but then all hope would be lost for us.
im not giving up, love.